Spit Connoisseur Pillows

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"This place has the best happy hour."

I could have danced all night!

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

Party Animals.

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

"I love this time of day."

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

'Man...You age great!'

Superheroes Having a Drink

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

The Corner Of Ogden And Nash: Candy is Daddy/Liquor is Quicker

Redhead

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"This looks like a job for 'Margarita Man!'"

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

Totalitarian Humour

Sparks Fly When The Little Gray Suit Meets The Little Black Dress

(I ride a harley, I drive a porsche, I smoke cigars, I drink martinis...) (So, ….You're impotent?)

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

"Well, here he is. He just grew on me until I couldn't stand it anymore."

"Pavlov's dog: Friday night"

"I had a low birth weight but a high birthright."

'I'd steer clear of the rum punch.'

"We're going to build in Rhinebeck, once Steven finds the right brick."