Spiritual Warrior Pillows

Competitive Meditation.

Minister Starts at a New Church

St Louis and his Army Pray (The History of the Crusades).

'God, grant me all that I deserve. Amen'

'Mrs. Zegenzahn, I'm an expert on exorcising demons, devils and poltergeists, but insurance representatives? There's no remedy for that.'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"Do you have an appointment?"

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

Woman looking into a mirror

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

Monk Prompt

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

"Show off."

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

Nun Binning the Devil

'I'm just going to say my prayers. Any requests?'

"Are our prayers answered whether we have an iphone or an android?"

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

'I guess you've noticed that most of these trespasses are reruns.'

"I cried because I had no shoes, till I met a man who had athlete's foot."

Militant Pacifists

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."