Religious Warrior Pillows

'The show must go on!'

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

Monk Prompt

"We missed you at church Sunday."

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

Nun Binning the Devil

'I'm just going to say my prayers. Any requests?'

"Are our prayers answered whether we have an iphone or an android?"

'I guess you've noticed that most of these trespasses are reruns.'

Kid praying: 'If it's okay with you, don't record this one.'

Child praying - asks god to bless his family and the new motorbike he's bought with his father's credit card.

Minister Starts at a New Church

"Welcome to the brave new corporate gulag, Hank. The dissenting wheel always gets the shrink!"

'This is the one - we want you to pray for this one.'

"What do I click on after I say 'Amen'?"

"You don't have to worry about using up your minutes."

Man prays: 'Lord help me to be humble, and I want that by 10am Monday.'

'God Bless Momma, and Daddy and Fluffy...'

"Say the whole prayer, none of this et cetera, et cetera..."

'That's all for tonight, God. Stay tuned.'

Young child saying grace

Husband to kneeling wife: 'Praying for a snow day is great, Martha, except that we live in Boca Raton.'

'Perhaps you need a more reverent prayer than, 'Come on, God, help me out.'

The Force of Example.

'He always breaks away from the Church on Sunday mornings.'

My belief is better than yours!

BLESS YOU

'Mrs. Zegenzahn, I'm an expert on exorcising demons, devils and poltergeists, but insurance representatives? There's no remedy for that.'

'You didn't hear me say my prayers because I texted them.'

"Lord, if my prayers are pleasing to Thee, please confirm by fax."

'That was a short prayer, Grandpa. . . you must be really hungry.'