Modern Prayer Warrior Pillows

'Oh - you're there! I was hoping I could just leave a message.'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

Monk Prompt

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

"Are our prayers answered whether we have an iphone or an android?"

'I'm just going to say my prayers. Any requests?'

Nun Binning the Devil

Praying mantis.

'I guess you've noticed that most of these trespasses are reruns.'

"I hope you don't mind, but I stuck in a little prayer for General Motors."

Kid praying: 'If it's okay with you, don't record this one.'

Child praying - asks god to bless his family and the new motorbike he's bought with his father's credit card.

Minister Starts at a New Church

"What do I click on after I say 'Amen'?"

"Bob, you've been warned before. You can't come to prayer just to gather gossip material."

'This is the one - we want you to pray for this one.'

"You don't have to worry about using up your minutes."

Holy phone

Man prays: 'Lord help me to be humble, and I want that by 10am Monday.'

'This is the Rabbi's favourite.'

'God Bless Momma, and Daddy and Fluffy...'

And cut down on the praying if you want the housemaid's knee to go...

'I'm about to say my prayers, Dad. Do you want more pocket money too?'

"Are we allowed to pray?"

"Say the whole prayer, none of this et cetera, et cetera..."

'That's all for tonight, God. Stay tuned.'

Husband to kneeling wife: 'Praying for a snow day is great, Martha, except that we live in Boca Raton.'

'Perhaps you need a more reverent prayer than, 'Come on, God, help me out.'