Spiritual Tweeter Gifts

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'Sorry we couldn't make the service but we enjoyed your inspirational twitter,'

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

"I'm going on a retreat."

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

"He has the tweeting skills of a man twice his age."

"I'll check and see if he's available."

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

'Ok Preacher, here's the deal. You back off I back off, and everyone is happy...'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

'...and where did you bury the bone?'

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

First O.M.G. church.

"I'm the ghost of Christmas Tree Future, and honestly, it doesn't turn out well for you."

"I've been feeling more transparent."

Holy phone

You Have 1 New Messages

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

"It's your mother. She wants to know why you never summon her."

'He's not there at the moment so please leave a message.'

'If another barman cracks the joke about not serving spirits, I'm leaving ...'

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

'Quit interrupting me. You were always doing that.'

"Before we make contact with the departed, be aware that all communications will be recorded and maybe used for training purposes."

"#skydiving"