Spiritual Tweeter Gifts

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

"I'm going on a retreat."

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

"He has the tweeting skills of a man twice his age."

"I'll check and see if he's available."

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

'Ok Preacher, here's the deal. You back off I back off, and everyone is happy...'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

First O.M.G. church.

'...and where did you bury the bone?'

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

"I'm the ghost of Christmas Tree Future, and honestly, it doesn't turn out well for you."

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

'He's not there at the moment so please leave a message.'

'If another barman cracks the joke about not serving spirits, I'm leaving ...'

"I've been feeling more transparent."

Holy phone

You Have 1 New Messages

"It's your mother. She wants to know why you never summon her."

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

'Quit interrupting me. You were always doing that.'

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

"Before we make contact with the departed, be aware that all communications will be recorded and maybe used for training purposes."

"He says that it's really not that bad down there."

"#skydiving"

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.