Live Tweeter Gifts

"#skydiving"

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

"Free Bird!"

Ginger Baker.

"He has the tweeting skills of a man twice his age."

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

'The hardest thing is convincing the wife that when I'm staring out of the window I'm actually composing a tweet.'

Strong Female Lead

A man and a woman discussing the skill of the pianist.

Follow God On Twitter

Social Notworking

"Did you get that text I sent asking you to turn around?"

"This next song is for my ex-wife Joan."

"In conclusion , I'll replay the notes I played incorrectly. There was an F sharp, two E flats, a G..."

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

"I can't have the wart removed, I just got the Wicked Witch role in 'Wizard of Oz'."

Turn on chat. Delete conversation.

"Your difficulty communicating how you really feel, is because of your inherent inability to display complex emotion."

"This next song is about those times when you don't feel really happy or really sad, but just feel okay."

"This one goes out to the lovers who aren’t intimidated by my tip jar."

"It's lunchtime! Have you finished saying 'Good Morning' on your WhatsApp Groups?"

Dianne Reeves

"Can we do this on YouTube live, I need the money for my bail."

"I ask the jury, who among us would not have done the same, if given ready access to a huge vat of cheese and a lives streaming social media feed?"

"I tweeted yesterday. 'Sleep with your windows open'. It was liked and shared by 2000 mosquitos."

"If you need me, I'll be in my room watching YouTube videos, texting, Skyping and blowing off my homework."

"They all seem to be playing a different song!"

At least I have a live stream...

"The good book says to tweet others as you would want to be tweeted."

"This song is about the one that got away through the air ducts after stealing my wallet backstage."

'Sorry we couldn't make the service but we enjoyed your inspirational twitter,'

Birds Tweet and Retweet.

"I'm going to pull a seat number from this fish bowl and someone will have a very memorable night at the theater."