Spiritual Stretcher Gifts

Exercise for the end of the day...

Yoga in Heaven

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

All we have in life is this moment...

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

'Have you been working out?'

2pm meet your Creator

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

Late-Onset Epiphany

'Fortunately, the Almighty is compassionate, kind, understanding, and hopefully tone deaf.'

"If he doesn't like the hand puppet routine, I'll try running the burning bush idea by him."

"Free why-fi.”

"Can you get that down to 140 characters?"

I am one with stupid.

'Father, meet Sister Kate, she shimmies like a jelly upon a jelly plate.'

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

"Holy water, holy water...."

"Nice sermon. Not too preachy."

"I used to be a young crazy rebel like you you know."

Zen Kitten