Spiritual Striver Gifts

"And now, if I may, I'd like to put You on hold for a moment while I have a few words with Mammon."

"Good game."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

reincarnated worm...

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

Unguided imagery

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"All we have left is standing room only."

Tiny Visions

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

Zenemies.

"Needs to get a life"

Astral Projection