Spiritual Journey Seeker Gifts

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'I'm thinking about becoming a priest - tell me about your healthcare plan?'

'... Of course, once you actually achieve enlightenment, it all gets a bit boring.'

"Burton, Fenton and Hacwood. Sorry, Mr. Hackwood is away, taking a 'gap' year on top of a mountain."

"I started out on a molehill - What about you?"

"Try letting go."

"Being in the now today sure ain't like the good ol' now!"

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Good game."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

My God, I need to fart.

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"All we have left is standing room only."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

Zenemies.

Tiny Visions

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"