Spiritual Protector Gifts

Nun confronts mugger.

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

A Hole in the Dike

Child protects planet with umbrella.

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'Want to make it two out of three?'

"'Procreate'! I've climbed all this way to hear that the meaning of life is 'procreate'?!"

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

"All the celebrities come here."

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

Book of Life, Answers in Back.

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

"If the headline screams catastrophe, but nobody cares to read it, does it still make a sound?"

"How do I get down?"

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

Minister Starts at a New Church

'I don't offer any free advice anymore. I am offering a self-help seminar and a motivational coaching program online.'

'Don't look upon me as a priest, look upon me as your personal 'After Life Coach.''

On Holiday