Spiritual Steward Gifts

Pope Francis

"Would you like some wings?"

Don't mind us. We're just trying to eat more locally grown food.

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"Don't just forage - upcycle!"

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

Insect extinction

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'Why can't you SHARE the hedge?'

'Want to make it two out of three?'

Tree Funeral

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

'I'll be conducting Mahler 3 as the guests arrive.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'There was a time I thought humans were as smart as we are.'

"You told Pastor Bob about my room, didn't you?"

'I wish there was some way we could reduce emissions here.'

'I told him we're becoming an endangered species. He just laughed.'

"If the headline screams catastrophe, but nobody cares to read it, does it still make a sound?"

Solar Power.

'Let me remind you that any advice you receive is protected by copyright and I retain all rights therein.'

'Don't look upon me as a priest, look upon me as your personal 'After Life Coach.''

"As for the meaning of life, it doesn't have to suck."

'I don't offer any free advice anymore. I am offering a self-help seminar and a motivational coaching program online.'

"I'm afraid the diagnosis isn't good."

Better Do SomethingAbout Climate Change

'You will be reincarnated as someone who undergoes past life regression.'

BP is compensating those affected by the black tide in Gulf of Mexico...

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

"No, still there."