Spiritual Pragmatist Gifts

"...He's just freelancing for Mammon!"

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

Drive-thru Church

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

"Your husband says BOO!"

Cat Seance

"The only thing I'm sensing is an entrepreneurial spirit."

"You're on mute."

"Restless spirit, we don't know who or what you are, but thank you for your amazing Wi-Fi, and for keeping the signal strong."

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

Cemetery: Communicated with your loved one see Madam Zolta within.

'The tax and tip I understand, but what's this charge for shipping and handling?'

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.'

The response of a spirit during a seance is in fact an annoyed neighbour.

"I call it the The Power of Positive Pessimism. Knowing full well that most of the things I try almost always end in disaster, yet somehow finding enjoyment in every step of the process. It works for me!"

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

Spiritual Show Observed by the Grim Reaper.

Wall St Baptist: 'Life is exactly like the stock market exchange and we each have our own portfolio to manage.'

I am one with stupid.

'Let's take a minute to allow the bad karma of the old regime to lift.'