Spiritual Partner Gifts

"Possible side effects include disharmony, lack of oneness, and blurred third-eye vision."

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

Buddhist photo albums,

'He's more supportive after his nap.'

The Young Couple

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

'Don't look upon me as a priest, look upon me as your personal 'After Life Coach.''

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

'See that ant, Norm - He is in a world of his own, completely unaware that he is being watched.'

"Seminary didn't prepare me for this."

'It's not considered good form to brag about extinguishing your ego.'

'It started out as meditation, but now it's quiet desperation!'

I'd climb the highest mountain for you...

"Nice sermon. Not too preachy."

"So, all this talk about appealing to our better angels..."

'Osgood was a theologian back on Earth, and he thought all this stuff would be allegorical.'

Fortune teller: 'If you want a second opinion, my sister reads tarot cards.'

'Chins up.'

"Landscapes are nice but have considered painting still lifes?...maybe apples?"

Computer literate Monk

"You say that life is suffering, but isn't it also complaining?"

Today's presentation - God's Miracles.

God's lil' fix-it shop.

'In doggy heaven, everyone is allowed on the couch.'

"You are taking the responsibility as an elder to shepherd the flock a little too serious."

'I think I see why attendance has been down.'

Calendars before Jesus.

"He's so bossy I call him Big Brother!"

'I'll be danged- that's exactly what mom told me.'

"It's true we like our members to be regular givers, but irregular givers are certainly welcome."

Always look for your angel.

"Too righteous?"