Spiritual Partner Gifts

"Possible side effects include disharmony, lack of oneness, and blurred third-eye vision."

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

Buddhist photo albums,

'He's more supportive after his nap.'

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

The Young Couple

'Don't look upon me as a priest, look upon me as your personal 'After Life Coach.''

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

I'd climb the highest mountain for you...

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

'It's not considered good form to brag about extinguishing your ego.'

'It started out as meditation, but now it's quiet desperation!'

'See that ant, Norm - He is in a world of his own, completely unaware that he is being watched.'

"Seminary didn't prepare me for this."

"Nice sermon. Not too preachy."

Fortune teller: 'If you want a second opinion, my sister reads tarot cards.'

'Osgood was a theologian back on Earth, and he thought all this stuff would be allegorical.'

"So, all this talk about appealing to our better angels..."

"Landscapes are nice but have considered painting still lifes?...maybe apples?"

'Chins up.'

Computer literate Monk

"You say that life is suffering, but isn't it also complaining?"

Today's presentation - God's Miracles.

God's lil' fix-it shop.

'In doggy heaven, everyone is allowed on the couch.'

"You are taking the responsibility as an elder to shepherd the flock a little too serious."

'I think I see why attendance has been down.'

"He's so bossy I call him Big Brother!"

Calendars before Jesus.

'Why am I so depressed? Because I'm so enlightened, that's why!'

'I'll be danged- that's exactly what mom told me.'

"It's true we like our members to be regular givers, but irregular givers are certainly welcome."

"Too righteous?"