Meditative Partners Gifts

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

My God, I need to fart.

Zenemies.

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

Cactus seats.

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

Unguided imagery

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

Meditation

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

"Showoff"

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

"Look! A dying brain cell! Maybe we should help!...."

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

"Show off."

"That's good. Now extend the fingers and lose the attitude."

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

"... and this is Carol’s stupid meditation room."

"Slowly begin to reawaken the body with thoughts of unread E-mails, piles of dirty laundry, and the kids you have to pick up from school."

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

'Have you been working out?'

"Hoarder."