Meditation Lovers Gifts

As they gathered for the three hour meditation it was clear that some students were less prepared than others...

'Oh, he's pretty wise -- I clerked for him.'

Nervous Buddha

Retrospect Road

Cleaner hoovering under levitating guru.

'It's my mantra.'

Upside down sign offers Yoga Classes.

Yoga Dentist has sign on wall: 'Open Mouth Insert Foot'

Lotus Celebrate: We start out in life radiating a youthful energy and natural glow.

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

My God, I need to fart.

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

Unguided imagery

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

Zenemies.

Meditation

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

"Showoff"

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

"Look! A dying brain cell! Maybe we should help!...."

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

"Show off."

"Slowly begin to reawaken the body with thoughts of unread E-mails, piles of dirty laundry, and the kids you have to pick up from school."

"... and this is Carol’s stupid meditation room."