Meditation Devotee Gifts

"I've been meditating as hard as I can and nothing happens."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Where your mind & battle are los

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

Counting ribs

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Dog yoga

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

Be Healthy

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'Where would you recommend for a tech-free experience.'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

"Try thinking about something else."

Mind-Fullness

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'Oh, crap.'

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

"The overthinker"