Meditation Seeker Gifts

'Shut up bitch, I'm trying to find my inner calm.'

Bob had trouble connecting with nature, whereas nature seemed to have no trouble at all connecting with Bob.

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Where your mind & battle are los

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

Counting ribs

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Dog yoga

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Be Healthy

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'Where would you recommend for a tech-free experience.'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

"Try thinking about something else."

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

Mind-Fullness

'Oh, crap.'

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'