Meditation Rookie Gifts

Meditating

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

Zenemies.

My God, I need to fart.

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

Yoga.

Meditation

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

Guru.

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

Behind the Scenes of Your Wednesday Night Yoga Class

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

"... and this is Carol’s stupid meditation room."

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

"I'm searching for a happy medium between sitting on a mountain top and eating cheese fries."

'Have you been working out?'

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'