Meditation Rookie T-Shirts

Meditating

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Zenemies.

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

My God, I need to fart.

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

Yoga.

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

Meditation

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Behind the Scenes of Your Wednesday Night Yoga Class

Guru.

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

"... and this is Carol’s stupid meditation room."

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

"I'm searching for a happy medium between sitting on a mountain top and eating cheese fries."

"Did you unpack your baggage yourself?"

'Have you been working out?'

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'