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'Isn't it about time for our seventh-year stretch?'

"Well, when we first came here, this was Tibet, but I haven't paid much attention to politics lately."

Buddha and Cat

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

Work/Life Balance

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

My God, I need to fart.

Zenemies.

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

Meditation

A sturdy hand-hold against the vicissitudes of life: $1.00 per minute.

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

The power of now

"Showoff"

I want a calendar where every day says here and now

'Meditation centre' 'Coffee, Tea, Enlightment, Refreshments'

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

Guru.

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'Want to make it two out of three?'

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"Leon, do you think it's all psychological?"

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'