Meditation Fanatics Gifts

'He has a kind of neat mantra - 'no hits, no runs, no errors.''

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

My God, I need to fart.

Zenemies.

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

A child interrupting family prayers

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

Meditation

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

"... and this is Carol’s stupid meditation room."

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

'Have you been working out?'

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"They always fall for the old 'high-impact yoga' trick!"

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

Grok's Thought Stopping.

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'