Meditation Humor Fans Gifts

'How did WE get on Mike Huckabee's mailing list?'

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Zenemies.

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

My God, I need to fart.

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

Meditation

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

"... and this is Carol’s stupid meditation room."

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

"Did you unpack your baggage yourself?"

'Have you been working out?'

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"You emptied your mind already? That was quick."

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

Grok's Thought Stopping.

I swear, you don't hear a word I don't say.

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

Transcend Dental Medication: "Prepare to let go of the pain."

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'