Meditative Humorist Gifts

"Meditation is too hard. How do you keep one thought in your mind for this long?"

'Oh yeah! First to reach enlightenment... Right here! Eat my dust, bitches!'

"I pick up most of my wisdom from celebrity interviews.'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

"I keep on getting these feelings of love, peace and empathy..."

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

At the 2021 Religious Games

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

Guru.

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

T-Shirt reads: 'Out of mind, I won't be back.'

Single Prayer Health Insurance

"How long have I had what problem?"

Computer help.

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

"I'm a glass-half-empty and I'm leaking."

R.C.I.A.