Meditative Partners Pillows

'When you care to 'zen' the very best.'

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

'Oh, crap.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

Unguided imagery

Cactus seats.

Zenemies.

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

My God, I need to fart.

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

Meditation

"Showoff"

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"Look! A dying brain cell! Maybe we should help!...."

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

"Show off."

"Slowly begin to reawaken the body with thoughts of unread E-mails, piles of dirty laundry, and the kids you have to pick up from school."

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

"That's good. Now extend the fingers and lose the attitude."

"... and this is Carol’s stupid meditation room."

'Have you been working out?'

"Hoarder."