Thoughtful Partner Gifts

'You've bought your wife a get-well card every day this month - isn't that awfully expensive?' 'Yeah, but it's still cheaper than sending her to the doctor.'

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

I'd climb the highest mountain for you...

"Your free-floating anxiety is floating over to me."

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

It's the thought that counts!

At the Penguin fishing school: 'Gunvald has set the bar kind of high, gang!'

Artists at an Exhibition

"What did you learn in school today that I'd object to?"

"I do a lot for charity but I don't like to talk about it. . ."

"His life was hanging by a thread, and then somebody fed him the bean burrito."

"We don't have a time-out chair in our Classroom Community, that's our mindfulness chair."

'Do you mind if my son watches you cook? I'm trying to bring him up to be a vegetarian.'

Jim was busy detoxing his negative thinking patterns.

Life is just four letters...

"Trickle Down" Begins At Home

If a tweet is sent out and no one signs up to read it, does it exist? Happens millions of times a day.

'Thanks for bringing me lunch Rex: It's way too cold for me to come out today...'

I wonder if they can think...

Did you know that 3 to 4 glasses of wine a day can reduce your risk of giving a s**t. . . but you'll pee a lot more.

"It's like you haven't heard a single thing I've thought."

'Did I mention that Sam won the marathon today?'

Boy stays on grandpa's 'check list.'

"I DO like you. YOU don't like you."

Sympathetic Friends

'Don't bother to explain, I wasn't born-again yesterday.'

Past, Present, Future Thoughts

"Nature, nurture or a bit of both?"

Boy holding power doesn't want to share.

'When you care to 'zen' the very best.'

War & Peace

'...Oh, and I bought some new smalls in town...'

"Sometimes, my parents can't buy dinner."

"How is everything, besides the obvious?"

I need to figure it to break it to my parents that I understand about death. I''m going to sit them down and tell them that I understand our cat Magus died and that's why her body stopped working. I'm going to explain that death is a natural part of life and that they don't have to treat me like a baby. I get it. If they're still feeling upset, I'll offer to take them out so they can buy themselves a treat. If all else fails, ice cream.