Spiritual Medium Gifts

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'Do you want a small medium or large?'

'Wait till you see how absurdly easy it is to connect to the spirits with the new i ball.'

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"I'm going on a retreat."

"I'll check and see if he's available."

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

BLESS YOU

A voodoo doctor.

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

'Hey, you could get arrested for doing stuff like... Oh, you ARE getting arrested.'

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

First O.M.G. church.

"It's your mother. She wants to know why you never summon her."

"I've been feeling more transparent."

Holy phone

"I find it helps to imagine Go as some kind of divine creator."

You Have 1 New Messages

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

'Quit interrupting me. You were always doing that.'

Palm Top Readings

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

"He says that it's really not that bad down there."

"You CAN be an effective haunter - we just need to unlock your potential!"

"I can see no farther than the final episode of the first season."

"Actually, it's pronounced 'An-hel'."

Ouija board speaks recorded options

'If your guru business is slow, do what I did. Get a professional website presence on the Internet. That's how you found me, right?'

Confession plugged up to an amp.

The answers you seek are within yourself. But ok, the capitol of Bulgaria is Sofia. Zen Siri.