Spiritual Medium Prints

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'Wait till you see how absurdly easy it is to connect to the spirits with the new i ball.'

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"I'm going on a retreat."

"I'll check and see if he's available."

A voodoo doctor.

BLESS YOU

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

'Hey, you could get arrested for doing stuff like... Oh, you ARE getting arrested.'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

First O.M.G. church.

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

"It's your mother. She wants to know why you never summon her."

You Have 1 New Messages

Holy phone

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

"I've been feeling more transparent."

"I find it helps to imagine Go as some kind of divine creator."

'Quit interrupting me. You were always doing that.'

Palm Top Readings

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

"You CAN be an effective haunter - we just need to unlock your potential!"

"I can see no farther than the final episode of the first season."

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

"He says that it's really not that bad down there."

"Actually, it's pronounced 'An-hel'."

Ouija board speaks recorded options

Confession plugged up to an amp.

'If your guru business is slow, do what I did. Get a professional website presence on the Internet. That's how you found me, right?'

"Yes, Mom, I'm just finishing texting my prayers now!"

'He meditates,on the harmony of nature and the meaning of life for a few weeks, and then - Zap! - A new silicon chip.'