Spiritual Communicators Gifts

"We are currently experiencing a high volume of calls but your prayer is important to us so please stay on the line and one of our ....."

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

"I'll check and see if he's available."

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

"Here's a draft of my speech, Accounts Receivable as Collateral When Obtaining Asset Based Lending. Make it pop."

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

"I'm the ghost of Christmas Tree Future, and honestly, it doesn't turn out well for you."

'...and where did you bury the bone?'

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

"Since both of us believe in reincarnation, what if I pay you all the money I owe you in the next life?"

Transcendental Litigation

"I find it helps to imagine Go as some kind of divine creator."

"I've been feeling more transparent."

"It's your mother. She wants to know why you never summon her."

'If another barman cracks the joke about not serving spirits, I'm leaving ...'

'He's not there at the moment so please leave a message.'

"I really gotta turn off these notifications."

'Quit interrupting me. You were always doing that.'

"I'm a pastor. My job is to speak 20 minutes on Sunday and listen the rest of the week."

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

"Perhaps a dirge would lift your spirits?"

"I'm a medium." "Really? I'm a large!" "Your late Aunt Nancy warmed me you'd say that."

"He says that it's really not that bad down there."

"You CAN be an effective haunter - we just need to unlock your potential!"