Psychic Medium Gifts

"I can see no farther than the final episode of the first season."

"Your future is very bright."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

The Environmentalist

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Asking out a palm reader.

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

Quantum Psychic

"You're solemates!"

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

Channelling on the Cheap

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

Card Reader in PC Supplies Store.

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

Pie Filling Reader

Using psychic powers, the final exam had been a breeze. However, Madame Evetta did not realize that the student in front of her from who she had obtained the majority of her answers, was Bugs Higgins.

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

'You're going on a long journey. Have you got an OAP's bus pass?'

"Did you have a cat?"

"It will be all your fault."