Psychic Medium Fanatic Gifts

'Hey, you could get arrested for doing stuff like... Oh, you ARE getting arrested.'

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

"You're solemates!"

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'Waiter, there's a Fly-Agaric in my soup.'

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

"I can't really tell you the future but I'll tell you what's trending on Twitter."

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

"Is 'family' friend of foe?"

Psychic diving competition.

A voodoo doctor.

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

"Oh, a resume is not necessary. I know all about you."

Teacher of the Year: "Accepting for Susan Curtis is her clinical psychologist."

'I know it looks silly, but they say his prophecies have regained their old accuracy.'

Big Medium

Magician hitting someone while performing a trick.

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

'I'm going out to forge an alliance.'

"Nothing - he's ghosting you."

Extreme Sheepherding

"Nothing like a good stretch before looting and burning."

"I'd like to introduce our new consultant on risk management!"

"You like people and people respond to that."

"My psychic tells me I was a glass of water in a previous life."

Monk scribe has written ornate letter 'S' which turns into 'Sod this for a lark!!'

Weigh station

"I can see no farther than the final episode of the first season."

'How about 'I'm still breastfeeding my five year old, half ton, binge drinking, monkey baby'?'

'Oh, don't mind Grandpa - he's just having an acid flashback.'