Spiritual Humor Aficionado Gifts

'After the beep, please leave a prayer.'

Collection plate at church with signs of the credit cards the church will take.

'You weren't always faithful so some of your prayers went to God's spam.'

Look who's 'hurting God' now.

"In heaven there are no trees."

"Ever notice Judas is always whistling 'Highway to Hell'?"

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

Ghostwriting the Bible

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"You call this a constitution?"

At the 2021 Religious Games

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

Guru.

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

'Please take your receipt!'

Single Prayer Health Insurance

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

Praying mantis.

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

R.C.I.A.

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'Right now I'm counting the blessings that we owe to Uncle Sam.'

Praying Mantis.

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

Regifts of the Magi

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"We're in deep trouble... there are some people quoting back to us what we taught them."

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.