Spiritual Hacker Gifts

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

Golfing Bishop.

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

Weird things I do because of the internet

"I'm going on a retreat."

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

The Ordered List

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

'Life if so much simpler since we called Family Ref.'

Om and Ommer

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

"I had a wonderful dream that Anonymous turned out to be me."

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

Golfing with God.

First O.M.G. church.

'Guide us, oh Webmaster.'

Holy phone

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

You Have 1 New Messages

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

Secrets of Adulthood.

Finally, I found a good use for that leak.

"It was just a near-death experience, but while you're here, would you help me with this computer?"

Palm Top Readings

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

'Your acceptance is tentative until we can rule on the question of your knowingly using pirated software.'

Confession plugged up to an amp.

"I can tell much more about you if I read your Palm Pilot."

www.meditation.commm