Spiritual Hacker Pillows

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

Golfing Bishop.

Weird things I do because of the internet

"I'm going on a retreat."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

The Ordered List

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

'Life if so much simpler since we called Family Ref.'

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

First O.M.G. church.

Golfing with God.

"I had a wonderful dream that Anonymous turned out to be me."

'Guide us, oh Webmaster.'

You Have 1 New Messages

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

Holy phone

Secrets of Adulthood.

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

Finally, I found a good use for that leak.

"It was just a near-death experience, but while you're here, would you help me with this computer?"

Palm Top Readings

'Your acceptance is tentative until we can rule on the question of your knowingly using pirated software.'

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

"We have a new app that does sin to atonement conversion."

Confession plugged up to an amp.

www.meditation.commm

"I can tell much more about you if I read your Palm Pilot."