Spiritual Guitarist Gifts

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"Home depot."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

'You must heal yourself.'

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

"Look, if I had all the answers, would I be living alone on the top of a mountain?"

FAQs.

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

Christian and Born again Christian...

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

The Path

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"Did you have a cat?"

"All the celebrities come here."

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."