Spirit World Adventurer Gifts

'Well, Running Bear. It looks like you're out of a job.'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

"Do you have an appointment?"

"It's going to be huge! Cheese-flavored vodka!"

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

"Show off."

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

"The meaning of life, eh? Beats me... Let's google it."

"Redcoat is down! Repeat, redcoat is down!"

"I cried because I had no shoes, till I met a man who had athlete's foot."

The truth about the expulsion from paradise. . .

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

Angry wife: 'Oh well DONE Keith! Why didn't you tell me the invite said BRING your own spirits?!'

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

Sport, Political, Religious and New Yorker Cartoonist Gurus.

'...And how long have you been having these hallucinations that you're seeing a psychiatrist?'

'Hope it's legit. I never had the chance to say good riddance.'

"When was your last meta-physical?"

'Let's have some fun - Let's order from that place that guarantees pizza delivery in thirty minutes!'

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"