Spirit Of The Lawn Gifts

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

'Congratulations! Our yard's been declared a national wilderness area!'

"Can you cut the grass but leave the daisies?"

'He misses his garden when he's on holiday'

Beginning Yarder.

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

No Mow May

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

The Scottish Lawn

Beware of the Lawn

'Lord, we thank thee for the bounty we're about to receive.'

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

"This lawnmower is a real time saver. After pushing it around for an hour, I forget about all the ambitious landscaping plans I thought up over winter."

"You did order the chemical-free insecticide."

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

'Al's Lawn Care Service: There's no crabgrass too crabby for us!'

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

Garden sprinkler in the form of a classical statue

'If I've calculated correctly, I have two more birthdays before I never have to mow the lawn again.'

Lawrence of Suburbia

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

"I've found the lawnmower!"