Spirit Connoisseur Gifts

'What are the three basic food groups?'

"He sure liked to drink a lot."

Ice pack for the heart.

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Louis Armstrong

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

"An everything Martini, please."

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

Birthday Cakes: From Around the World

Creation of Red Wine

CASA DE JOY PREMIUM TEQUILA STONE BISSETT DISTILLERY CONT. NET.1000 ML 40% ALC Vol.

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

The Cremaster Cycle

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

The Kali De Milo.

"A pint for me and one for the woad!"

"A horse by any other mane would small as sweat."

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'

'Kafka! Kandinsky! Kokoschka!'

'Somebody's got to be kidding,'

"You have an air of Camille Paglia about you."

Antonin Leopold Dvorak

Count Valmont- Proposed Titlepage to 'Les Liasons Dangereuses'

Angry wife: 'Oh well DONE Keith! Why didn't you tell me the invite said BRING your own spirits?!'

Chinese History: Redwash

"Redcoat is down! Repeat, redcoat is down!"

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."