Spirit Connoisseur T-Shirts

'What are the three basic food groups?'

"He sure liked to drink a lot."

Ice pack for the heart.

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

"An everything Martini, please."

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

Creation of Red Wine

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

CASA DE JOY PREMIUM TEQUILA STONE BISSETT DISTILLERY CONT. NET.1000 ML 40% ALC Vol.

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

The Cremaster Cycle

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"A horse by any other mane would small as sweat."

The Kali De Milo.

"A pint for me and one for the woad!"

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'

'Kafka! Kandinsky! Kokoschka!'

"You have an air of Camille Paglia about you."

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

Chinese History: Redwash

Angry wife: 'Oh well DONE Keith! Why didn't you tell me the invite said BRING your own spirits?!'

Antonin Leopold Dvorak

"Redcoat is down! Repeat, redcoat is down!"

Heaven

'Somebody's got to be kidding,'

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Count Valmont- Proposed Titlepage to 'Les Liasons Dangereuses'