Spineless Scallywag Gifts

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"He's already getting attached to you."

'He loved that dog.'

'This is your spinal column...It's a bunch of bones that runs up and down your back and keeps your legs from going all the way up to your neck.'

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

This is Giselle, our bichon frise, and Fred, our legacy pet.""This is Giselle, our bichon frise, and Fred, our legacy pet."

Dog Park Zoom

'You tell me how he does it.'

"Thanks for your concern, and yes, I'm a rescue dog, but that's my actual job title: I rescue people..."

"Sometimes Bob wags when he's happy—but these days, it usually means he just tooted."

"I can't believe how much I love her. Just look at those sienna eyes and that adorable little nose. I honestly don't know how I'd survive without her." "He has food."

Colin kept a notebook by his bed to write down any ideas he had during the night... "Genulph hyu donkey slapperthwaite."

Headshot of perky dog.

"No, I did not sniff you!"

'My wife doesn't understand us.'

'Sorry, chubs, but those little circles you do before lying down don't cut it as exercise.'

"It hurts when I wag my tail – but I'm not sure if the pain is mental or physical."

"My dog is NOT a child substitute. Not according to his headmaster anyway."

'Don't worry. We'll fit into these things by spring.'

He's at that confusing stage between chasing his own tail or the mail carrier's.

"Take it easy back there!"

Dog.

"Papers? Naw, he don't need no papers. . . Spike is housebroken!"

"I'm getting a little peckish. Hey! How dare you ignore me. I don't care if I have to go out or not, I'm waking you up at 4 a.m."

'Oh Rex, can we really afford it?'

"He's normally not affectionate, but he has really taken a liking to you!2

'It's no wonder you've got gas...do you know how many frogs you swallowed last night?'

"Finally...a purdy one!"

Beware of the Overly Friendly Dog.

Pet

'Oh forget it, I'll take a bath.'

'If you're so smart, let's see you scratch your ear with your foot.'

'He probably smells your dog on you.'

He'll 'stay' all right...on the velcro dogmat.