Spineless Scallywag Pillows

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"He's already getting attached to you."

'He loved that dog.'

'This is your spinal column...It's a bunch of bones that runs up and down your back and keeps your legs from going all the way up to your neck.'

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

Dog Park Zoom

This is Giselle, our bichon frise, and Fred, our legacy pet.""This is Giselle, our bichon frise, and Fred, our legacy pet."

"Thanks for your concern, and yes, I'm a rescue dog, but that's my actual job title: I rescue people..."

"Sometimes Bob wags when he's happy—but these days, it usually means he just tooted."

'You tell me how he does it.'

"I can't believe how much I love her. Just look at those sienna eyes and that adorable little nose. I honestly don't know how I'd survive without her." "He has food."

Colin kept a notebook by his bed to write down any ideas he had during the night... "Genulph hyu donkey slapperthwaite."

"No, I did not sniff you!"

Headshot of perky dog.

'My wife doesn't understand us.'

'Sorry, chubs, but those little circles you do before lying down don't cut it as exercise.'

"My dog is NOT a child substitute. Not according to his headmaster anyway."

"It hurts when I wag my tail – but I'm not sure if the pain is mental or physical."

He's at that confusing stage between chasing his own tail or the mail carrier's.

"Take it easy back there!"

Dog.

'Oh Rex, can we really afford it?'

"I'm getting a little peckish. Hey! How dare you ignore me. I don't care if I have to go out or not, I'm waking you up at 4 a.m."

"Papers? Naw, he don't need no papers. . . Spike is housebroken!"

"He's normally not affectionate, but he has really taken a liking to you!2

Pet

"Finally...a purdy one!"

'Oh forget it, I'll take a bath.'

Beware of the Overly Friendly Dog.

'It's no wonder you've got gas...do you know how many frogs you swallowed last night?'

'If you're so smart, let's see you scratch your ear with your foot.'

'He probably smells your dog on you.'

He'll 'stay' all right...on the velcro dogmat.

"Well it's not as if you didn't give her some cause to yell at you."