Spill Soaker Gifts

'The surgeon left a couple sponges in me, but on the plus side, I'm able to soak up spills without a mop.'

'Burying things is his version of spring cleaning.'

"I'm sorry, Walter, but I need room to write."

'Typical it's cloudy all week, the the weekend arrives and it's too sunny to do any gardening.'

Lazy plumber.

What makes us Canadian? It's in our DNeh!

'You know, this is the 2nd bottle of this I've opened, and I still have no idea what it tastes like.'

'Why is it that as soon as the sun comes out the flies come out too.'

"I swear I'll get up and go mouse hunting as soon as this spot of sun is gone."

Bach in a Hot Tub!

Spring Training

The First Spring Clean

"When you've seen one bottle of stout you've seen the lot."

"Call it spring cleaning - I threw out all my dictionaries."

"Since Frank retired two years ago, he's been on the alert for some long-dormant artistic talent to develop."

'Damn. The dark is leaking out of the dark room again.'

'Gee,that's an unusual assortment! What kind of buttons are those? 'Belly...'

'I NEVER get stuck in the mud!'

Relaxing in the pool.

"People are always discriminating against my dad. At work, people say, 'clean up that spill' and 'get under the sink.'"

'When I get the clumsies, switch me to a sippy-cup.'

'Before you go toodling off with the boys, you're going to help me with the spring cleaning!'

"Because I say sew."

'Maybe you shouldn't have said, 'The wine's on me.''

Just another day at a British Petroleum cafeteria.

'I'm going out to get my clubs ready for spring.'

'OK Smith, you can take this back to the Woodwork room now!'

Before Powerpoint Presentations

Mr. Popularity.

'Too much information!'

'Sir, I'm finding it really strange referring to you as Mr. Wright.'

'A keyboard is like a beautiful woman... you have to know which buttons to press to get what you want...' - '...and if you accidentally spill hot coffee on it then it doesn't work quite as well.' - 'Jerk.' - 'I said sorry like a hundred times already!'

'You are what you drink. In your case it's stout.'

Bob believed in the ripple effect. Which was surprising, given that his own ripple didn't appear to be all that effective.

Ed could talk the talk and walk the walk, but just not while carrying hot liquids.