Ironic Soaker Gifts

"I've gone plastic free."

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

A vampire in a canoe.

'He's not here right now. He's out pumping iron.'

What makes us Canadian? It's in our DNeh!

'Why is it that as soon as the sun comes out the flies come out too.'

"Physician heal thyself."

Bach in a Hot Tub!

'He's trained to the laser pointer.'

"How can one sum up Henry's impact on all our lives? Negligible, I guess that'd do it."

"You're not stepping on it right."

Downcycling with Debbie

'There's a machine now that tells you when to stop drinking. It's called a cash point machine.'

Wussapalooka

'It's a program on conserving energy.'

'All finished. Just the way you like it.'

'It's hard to believe her biggest passion is for a cleaner environment.'

"I'm A Gigantic Starfish Endowed With The Gift Of Speech, Not A Miracle Worker."

"If you hate Mandy so much, why do you follow her?"

"It's his contribution to the environment"

Guy reading 'Irvine Welsh' drinks 'Earl grey'

'It's a well kept secret but actually John and I are closet agoraphobics.'

'Empower me again, Al.'

"This whole thing has turned him into a hypochondriac, he's even installed a medicine cabinet in his den."

Arnold Schwarzenegger's clone: 'But I don't wanna pump iron!'

Latch Hook...

Biker Tyre Inc: Made 100% from recycled condoms.

'No bread crumbs for me, thanks. I have allergies to wheat.'

"Killer, we gotta talk!"

'Dear valued customer, due to your lack of discipline and total disregard for your credit limit, you're the customer of the month.'

'The only exercise I get with this is dusting it once a week.'

Referee School

Man in Bath with Laptop and Bird.