Spider Phobia Challenger T-Shirts

"Artie, don’t freak out, but there’s a spider on your back ..."

Dinner at the Trapdoors

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

Extreme Bungy

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

Child makes a toy and frightens himself.

"Sorry, Pal. Sometimes nature's not very pretty."

Idle parts

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

'Are we there yet?'

Spider Web Stocking

'I want you to bring me one.'

'Looks like the soup comes with flies.'

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

"Ooh don't stop Bob, the last time you ran your fingers through my hair like this was on our wedding night!"

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

Spider Press-Ups

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'

'The trick is to label straight away, otherwise I forget what I have in my larder...'

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

Spider Exhibit. It says spiders can have hundreds of children at the same time. No wonder they climb the walls! (Published originally on July 23, 2002.)

"Come on, Doc, one of us has to relax,"

'Rats, we've caught a dung beetle: They taste horrible...'

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'

I told you not to text and spin, Simone.

Arachnid Research Lab. I don't need to actually be here all the time, I use a web cam!

"I'm a little concerned about Frank."

Spider Parents.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Oh, it's only you."

Dizzy Spider