Spider Hater T-Shirts

"It gets rid of the spiders and it doesn't make any noise, so as far as I'm concerned it can stay."

Dinner at the Trapdoors

Good News about winter

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

Extreme Bungy

10 Good Things about a Minnesota Winter.

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

Child makes a toy and frightens himself.

"Sorry, Pal. Sometimes nature's not very pretty."

Idle parts

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

'Looks like the soup comes with flies.'

Spider's Web Trampoline

Spider Web Stocking

'I want you to bring me one.'

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

'Are we there yet?'

OMG UR HOT

'Did spiders invent bungee jumping, Dad?'

"Ooh don't stop Bob, the last time you ran your fingers through my hair like this was on our wedding night!"

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'

Spiders in love

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

"Would it have killed him to create a screened-in porch?!"

'Rats, we've caught a dung beetle: They taste horrible...'

"I do appreciate that it eats other bugs, but it also ate my husband."

"Bloody hell, Mavis. . . I was just doing yoga!"

'The trick is to label straight away, otherwise I forget what I have in my larder...'