Spider Showdown T-Shirts

"You didn't believe her when she said there was a giant spider in the bathtub, did you?"

The Amazing Man-Spider

Dinner at the Trapdoors

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

Extreme Bungy

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

Child makes a toy and frightens himself.

"Sorry, Pal. Sometimes nature's not very pretty."

Idle parts

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

'Are we there yet?'

Spider Web Stocking

'Looks like the soup comes with flies.'

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

'I want you to bring me one.'

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

Musk v Zuckerberg - Rockem Sockem Robots

Spider Press-Ups

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

'Dulcifying araneids didn't make them any more sapid.'

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

'The trick is to label straight away, otherwise I forget what I have in my larder...'

'Rats, we've caught a dung beetle: They taste horrible...'

A spider meal prepping

Spider Exhibit. It says spiders can have hundreds of children at the same time. No wonder they climb the walls! (Published originally on July 23, 2002.)

'I'm just surfing the web.'

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'

I told you not to text and spin, Simone.

"I'm a little concerned about Frank."

Dizzy Spider