Spelling Savant Gifts

'But Dr johnson ov wat yuse wil thsi dicshunary ov yors be?'

"Is this the grammar lover's club?"

Free Spelling

Independant Spelling Consultant.

Spelling for Dumbies.

Someone who knows apostrophes

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'I'm afraid it wouldn't work out, Kevin. You say 'data is' and I say 'data are'.'

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

"How do you spell, asteroid?"

Tomato's, Cucumber's, Apostrophe's.

Foundation for the Syntactically Challenged

"I think contests are good, but instead of a "find the typos" contest, you should get someone to read your text."

'She could've given me a point or two for originality.'

"By the way, does anything other than 'trouble' rhyme with 'bubble'?"

The Adventures of Grammar Man

'Very impressive, but is there anything you can't do?'

"I lost the spelling bee on the word 'gangsta.' "

"I love the similarities between us. You use irregular verbs, I use irregular verbs."

'It says 'three percent split infititives, 8 percent passive verbs, 16 percent compound-complex sentences,average sentence length 26 words,paperback rights $3.2 million,movie sales $8.3 million,total take $11.5 million,less 5 percent agents fees.'

Maid revealing that the judge uses a dictionary when writing

"Eye of newt, wing of bat, blah blah blah, here's one I made earlier."

"Anybody know how to spell anarchy?"

"Melisa! - Your spelling is atrocious!"

"Yeah, the Declaration of Independence is beautiful! What font is that?"

'Before our principal addresses the faculty, there's something important that has to be said.'

'Are you sure brook is misspelled'

"And remember–no more subjunctives where the correct mood is indicative."

'You spelt dog wrong.'

"Dude, you wrote bear arms not bare arms!!"

Wordplay: Carelessness.

'I can't read this, you must write more clearly.' - 'If I did that, you'd see all my spelling mistakes.'

Apostrophe, Aopstropher, Apostrothem.