Spelling Master Gifts

'She could've given me a point or two for originality.'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

"How do you spell, asteroid?"

Professor Ernie's history of philosophy. Rene Descartes had a difficult childhood. I think, therefore I am! I know you are, but what am I?!

"I think contests are good, but instead of a "find the typos" contest, you should get someone to read your text."

"On your marks..."

"I lost the spelling bee on the word 'gangsta.' "

"Anybody know how to spell anarchy?"

'You misspelled 'Gonna' Verl. . . there's two 'n's' in it.'

Today, we'll talk with Professor Ernie about some lesser known units of measurement. Let's start with the "light-year." A 'light-year" is a unit of time measuring how long somebody stays on their diet. In most cases, it's counted in small fractions. No, a light year is a unit of length equal to the distance light travels in a year, about six trillion miles. What about the "angstrom"? The "angstrom" is a measurement of anxiety levels! Incorrect again. It's another unit of length --- It's

How some bird species determine pecking order.

"When I agreed to learn the ABC's, I thought D through Z would be optional."

Maid revealing that the judge uses a dictionary when writing

"OMG! The PDA was 2 much. I was lol. . . Oh, sorry Daddy, I'm just so use to texting!"

"Dude, you wrote bear arms not bare arms!!"

'You spelt dog wrong.'

Wordplay: Carelessness.

'I can't read this, you must write more clearly.' - 'If I did that, you'd see all my spelling mistakes.'

Independant Spelling Consultant.

"What's this Artificial newt's tail? Instant toad urine? No wonder your spells suck!"

'Therapist is one word George!'

'But Dr johnson ov wat yuse wil thsi dicshunary ov yors be?'

Secateurs and non-secateurs

''Whom has mis-spelt millennium.' He said, for he had been to night school.'

Dyslexic Doomsayers.

"You'll have to start again - you've missed out an 'I'."

"Hardscrabble"

"No! That's no right! Remember to always use spell check."

Spelling for Dumbies.

'They're words, Billy, assembly required.'

"Who teaches apostrophe usage?"

'The following speaker was scheduled to give his talk last week, but needed more time to prepare his impromptu speech.'

Santa advertising for Elvis.