Speech Language Pathologist Pillows

'Because I have a thpeech impediment.'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

Dialogue

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"A haand gel...!?"

'I have a limited vocabulary because I'm a child, what's your excuse?'

Dyslexia is no longer a disorder...

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

Dyslexic Cattle Ranch

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

"Liife! Give my conversation Liife!"

What's the big surprise? All the latest theories of linguistics say we're born with the innate capacity for generating sentences.

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

"These meetings were a lot shorter before we invented compound sentences."

Monosyllabic Crisis Center

"There's nothing wrong with her. With e-mail, texting and tweeting, she just hasn't needed to learn to talk."

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

Foundation for the Syntactically Challenged

'He can toot his own horn but when he starts tooting the government's we need to step in.'

"Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert."

'Just my luck, a talking dog with a stutter.'