Spectacle Wearers Gifts

Optometrist. Wow, Batman got a strong perscription. They don't say "blind as a bat" for nothing. You have another patient in the exam roon. He says it's an emergency. My vision isn't what it used to be. The morning I misjudged distance and almost flew into the side of a building! I could have been killed! You could have died because you misjudged distance?! You're right, this is an emergency ... It's a matter of life and depth!

'He was a lousy watch dog until we realized he was near sighted.'

"Hugh fans!"

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

A convenient attack of swine flu...

NHS/Private Eye Care.

'Now watch our sales increase.'

Trappist talk show.

'No thanks. I'm just squinting...'

"You wanted to see the pastry chef, sir."

Can't read 'SLOW'.

"Oh, don't mind us. We boo everybody."

'Why do you always have to make a spectacle of yourself.'

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

'Having trouble getting used to your new bi-focals'

"Hey, you've fixed the telly too!"

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

"I'm sorry I didn't find your wallet but I found six pairs of reading glasses!"

"This conversation is being performed in front of a live audience."

"I promised myself I would never let this happen to me."

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

To appease the fans, major-league umpires are now required to take eye exams during the seventh inning stretch.

'Doctor, your glasses!'

"And so it begins... Now where'd I put my dang glasses..."

'An optician was having a closing down sale...I got the last pair!'

"Wrong, wrong, wrong and wrong. I'd like you to see another specialist. His office is closer to the eye chart."

'So much for his new glasses...he didn't see that coming'

"P.A.Y.F.O.R.Y.O.U.R.G.L.A.S.S.E.S."

Contacts vs. Glasses

Man with two pairs of glasses.

'Heads.'

'Crud I forgot my glasses.'