Spectacle Supporter Gifts

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

'I can't read a thing.' 'You're holding the card too close.'

'U still owe me nine hundred dollars'

A Huge Bill Awaits You.

"Just be yourself."

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

Applause

"Hugh fans!"

Saxophone Player.

'Not even close man - easy listening's around the corner.'

Johannes Sebastian Bach

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

Ta Da!...

Leonore from Fidelio

A convenient attack of swine flu...

NHS/Private Eye Care.

Football supporters.

"There's nothing magical about if, actually I just have a knack for this sort of thing."

Giuseppe Verdi

'Now watch our sales increase.'

Funding Cuts for the Arts

'Why do you always have to make a spectacle of yourself.'

"The guy's a natural!"

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

'He's a cheat I tell you - it's just a trick!'

More Arts Council cuts...

"String quartets! Minor rhapsodies! Little symphonies!"

And the die is cast!

James Levine

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

"Hey, you've fixed the telly too!"

"I promised myself I would never let this happen to me."

Sir John Barbirolli

"I'm sorry I didn't find your wallet but I found six pairs of reading glasses!"